I’m loathe to critique. I despise bad reviews. My grandmother would tell me, if you don’t have something nice to say, then you best despise the person you’re saying something bad about, cause they ain’t gonna like you after you say it. She’d also say “Don’t say ‘ain’t’. It’s not a word.”

But, I must ask the question, has the Mandalorian jumped the shark?

I loved seasons one and two. Like love loved. They were awesome. A perfect mix of Star Wars lore and pew pew badassness. But season three? Uhm, excuse me? Full disclosure, I didn’t even watch the whole season. I peaced out, canceled my Hulu and Discovery+ and headed to Netflix land. Why? Simple. How exactly does a 10 year old kid survive for 24+ hours down the gullet of a pterodactyl on steroids? Seriously?

Ok, I get it, he’s wearing Mandalorian armor. Cool. So was Boba Fett when he was swallowed by the Sarlacc. But Boba wasn’t down that gullet for more than a few minutes. Right? We’re talking 2-3 hours at most. So how did this kid survive for a day? Din Djarin and crew camped out over night. Over night! Like, don’t bother pursuing the pterodactyl with the kid in it’s maw, let’s camp, tell some stories, have a shrimp on a barbie.

But, lo and behold, the kid lived. For a day. In the stomach acids of a giant bird thing. What?

And don’t get me started on Grogu. He’s JarJar level of annoying-cute, is that a D&D Alignment?, and it’s getting old. Sure, he was fun for the first two seasons, but come on Grogu, grow a pair! Or grow up! Or do something! I mean, where are we going here? Is he really going to become a Mandalorian? Can they make armor that small?

Star Wars needs a dose of asskickery. Disney has watered down the franchise and made it too cute. Why did everyone love Rogue One? Cause the all the characters died. It’s epic. It’s fantastic. It’s terrible. It inspires fans. We hate it because the characters are no more but we love it because the characters made the ultimate sacrifice for the greater good.

But that Star Wars appears to be going away. Now, a ten year old kid can get swallowed by an alien dragon, take a nappy nap in it’s tummy, and wake up 24 hours later refreshed and ready to never take his helmet off again. No one ever dies and every episode is a happy ending. It’s nice, sure, but it’s boring as hell.

End of Rant.